Coming Back to Church After a Long Absence: A South African's Honest Guide to the Sunday That Has Been Waiting

The Sunday That Was Sought

There is a Sunday morning that every South African Christian has either lived, or is living, or will live. The Sunday morning that has been a long time coming. The Sunday morning that the Christian has been thinking about for a year, or for five years, or for fifteen years. The Sunday morning when the Christian gets in the car on a Sunday morning and drives to the church that the Christian has not been to since the wedding of the cousin in 2014.

The Sunday morning is hard. The parking lot is full of the people who never stopped coming. The hymns are different. The pastor knows the children's faces. The clothes are different. The coffee after the church is the same kind of coffee, but the people who drink the coffee are different. The Christian who has come back is the Christian who is, in some ways, the newest member of the church. The Christian who has come back is, in some ways, the most vulnerable member of the church.

The Christian in Johannesburg has to decide how to make the Sunday morning. The Christian has to decide what to wear. The Christian has to decide what to say when the person at the door says, "It's so good to see you again." The Christian has to decide what to say when the person at the door does not say, "It's so good to see you again."

This post is for the Christian in Johannesburg or Sandton who has been thinking about the Sunday morning. The Sunday morning is real. The Bible is real.

What the Bible Actually Says About Returning

The Bible has a great deal to say about returning. The Bible is, in one sense, a story of return. The Bible is the story of the human race that walked away from God. The Bible is the story of the human race that came back to God. The Bible is the story of the Father who ran to meet the child who came back.

Luke 15:18-20 — I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired men. So he got up and went to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.

Hosea 14:1 — Return, Israel, to the Lord your God. Your sins have been your downfall!

Joel 2:12-13 — Even now, declares the Lord, return to me with all your heart, with fasting and weeping and mourning. Rend your heart and not your garments. Return to the Lord your God, for he is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love.

Jeremiah 31:18-19 — I have surely heard Ephraim's moaning: You disciplined me like an unruly calf, and I have been disciplined. Restore me, and I will return, because you are the Lord my God.

James 4:8 — Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.

1 John 1:9 — If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

The Bible treats the return as one of the great Christian acts. The Bible treats the return as an act of courage. The Bible treats the return as an act of grace. The Bible treats the Christian who has returned as a person to be welcomed, not a person to be judged.

What the Bible Says About Shame

The Sunday morning after a long absence is also a Sunday morning of shame. The shame is real. The Christian who has come back to the church after a long absence has, in some ways, been waiting for the Sunday morning for the entire absence. The Christian who has come back to the church after a long absence has, in some ways, been dreading the Sunday morning for the entire absence. The Christian has been dreading the moment the people at the door notice. The Christian has been dreading the moment the pastor notices. The Christian has been dreading the moment the cousin who is still going to the church notices.

The Bible is clear about shame. The Bible treats shame as a real thing. The Bible also treats shame as a thing the Christian does not have to carry.

Isaiah 54:4 — Do not be afraid; you will not be put to shame. Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated.

Romans 8:1 — Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

Hebrews 12:1-2 — Let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Psalm 103:12 — As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

1 John 3:20-21 — If our hearts condemn us, we know that God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything.

The Christian who has come back to the church has been cleansed. The Christian who has come back to the church has been forgiven. The Christian who has come back to the church has a God who is greater than the heart of the Christian.

What the Bible Says About the Welcome

The Bible is also clear about the welcome. The Christian in the church has a duty to welcome the Christian who has come back. The Christian in the church has a duty to make the Sunday morning a Sunday morning of welcome, not a Sunday morning of judgment.

Romans 15:7 — Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.

Galatians 6:1-2 — Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.

2 Corinthians 2:7-8 — Now instead, you ought to forgive and comfort him, so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. I urge you to reaffirm your love for him.

Matthew 9:13 — But go and learn what this means: I desire mercy, not sacrifice. For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.

The Christian in the church has to welcome the Christian who has come back. The welcome is not a performance. The welcome is not a lecture. The welcome is the grace of the gospel in practice on a Sunday morning in 2026 in Sandton.

What the Christian in the Church Has Started Doing in the Sandton Bible Study

In the last three years, the Sandton Bible study has begun to think about the Christian who has been away. We have a returning Christian who has joined us in 2024 after twenty years away. We have a returning Christian who has joined us in 2025 after eight years away. We have a returning Christian who has joined us in 2026 after three years away. The returning Christian is real. The welcome is real.

We do three things at the Bible study for the returning Christian. We welcome the returning Christian by name at the Bible study. We do not make a show of the welcome. We do not lecture the returning Christian. We do, however, welcome the returning Christian. The Bible study is real. The returning Christian is real.

We invite the returning Christian to come back on the Wednesday after the Sunday morning. The Bible study is on the Wednesday. The Bible study is the same Bible study. The Bible study is for the Christian who has been away. We have begun to think of the Bible study on the Wednesday as the Bible study for the returning Christian. The Bible study is real. The Wednesday is real.

We pray for the returning Christian at the Bible study on the Sunday morning. The prayer is real. The prayer is short. The prayer is for the returning Christian to know that the returning Christian is welcome in the Bible study.

What the Bible Says About the People Who Have Been Hurt by the Church

The Sunday morning after a long absence is sometimes a Sunday morning after a long absence because the Christian has been hurt by the church. The Christian has been hurt by the pastor. The Christian has been hurt by the Sunday school teacher. The Christian has been hurt by the member of the Bible study group who has said the wrong thing. The hurt is real. The Bible is clear about the hurt.

Matthew 18:6 — If anyone causes one of these little ones — those who believe in me — to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.

Luke 17:1-2 — Things that cause people to stumble are bound to come, but woe to anyone through whom they come. It would be better for you to be thrown into the sea with a millstone tied around your neck, than for you to cause one of these little ones to stumble.

Romans 12:19 — Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord.

Hebrews 12:15 — See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.

The Christian who has been hurt by the church has a Bible for the hurt. The Christian has a Bible for the forgiveness of the Christian who hurt the Christian. The Christian has a Bible for the return to the church that has hurt the Christian.

What the Bible Says About the People Who Have Been Hurt in the World

The Sunday morning after a long absence is sometimes a Sunday morning after a long absence because the Christian has been hurt by the world. The Christian has been hurt by the marriage. The Christian has been hurt by the job. The Christian has been hurt by the death of the parent. The Christian has been hurt by the addiction. The Christian has been hurt by the diagnosis. The hurt is real. The Bible is clear about the hurt.

2 Corinthians 1:3-4 — Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.

Psalm 34:18 — I am poor and needy; may the Lord think of me. You are my helper and my deliverer; you are my God, do not delay.

Psalm 147:3 — He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

Matthew 11:28-30 — Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

The Christian who has been hurt by the world has a Bible for the hurt. The Christian has a Jesus for the hurt. The Christian has a church for the hurt.

A Short Prayer for the Sunday Morning

Father, you are the God of the long absence. You are the God of the Sunday morning after the long absence. You are the God of the parking lot. You are the God of the door. You are the God of the hymn. You are the God of the welcome. We pray for the Christian who has been away. We pray for the Christian who is thinking about the Sunday morning. We pray for the Christian who has been hurt by the church, and the Christian who has been hurt by the world. Help us to be a faithful church for the Christian who is returning. We ask this in the name of the one who said, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." Amen.

What the Christian Does on the Sunday Morning

The Christian who has decided to make the Sunday morning has a Sunday morning to make. The Christian has to drive to the church. The Christian has to park the car. The Christian has to walk to the door. The Christian has to be welcomed by the person at the door. The Christian has to walk into the sanctuary. The Christian has to find a seat. The Christian has to sing the hymn. The Christian has to listen to the sermon. The Christian has to drink the coffee. The Christian has to go home.

The Christian has to decide what to do about the welcome. The Christian does not have to make a great speech. The Christian does not have to tell the whole story. The Christian does have to say thank you. The Christian does have to come back the next Sunday morning.

An Invitation

If you are a Christian in Johannesburg or Sandton who has been away from the church for a long time, or who has been thinking about the Sunday morning for a long time, or who has begun to think that the Sunday morning could be a Sunday morning for you, the Wednesday evening Bible study in Sandton is open to you. The Bible study begins at 7:30pm on Wednesday evenings. We meet at the Bible study room in Parkmore. The Bible study is for the Christian who has been away. The Bible study is for the Christian who is thinking about the Sunday morning. The Bible study is for the Christian who has been hurt. The Bible study is for the Christian who has come back.

If you are a Christian who is also a member of a church in Johannesburg or South Africa, or who is also a Christian who has been away and is now returning, or who is also a Christian who has been hurt by the church, the Bible study is open to you. The Bible is real. The return is real. The Jesus is real.